Randomness

We just signed up for Peetniks! I'm so excited... Now we'll get our coffee every 35 days - just like Gevalia only better! Very exciting. Peetniks takes your order and sends the order to you the next day from that day's roast! So you know your coffee is super fresh!
It's good stuff, if you're a coffee hound, check it out.

We had a great Christmas! My mom was here, it was great that she was able to drive here. It means she's made great progress since her stroke. It also boosted her confidence enough to offer to babysit for us for New Years EVE! YAY! The little guy had so much fun unwrapping presents and playing with his new stuff. And hanging out with GRANDMA! He wanted not much to do with us. He just wanted GRANDMA! So fun to see them bond so well, and a nice break for us!

I cooked a beef tenderloin which I'd never done before. It was amazing! I had extra money from teaching piano lessons so I splurged on a great cut of meat for Cmas day. It was worth it. And we have GREAT LEFTOVERS!

We go to the same party every year for New Year's Eve. It's become the only way we see some of our friends (who also go to the same party every year). When I was single, I would stay the night and the party always goes into the next day starting with STRONG coffee and sticky buns and watching movies and playing games ALL DAY LONG! It was great fun. Well now we're not single, and we have a small child so it changes things but it's still fun to go.

In a few minutes I'm going to take the little guy to a mall where there is a great kids play area... he can run off some of his energy there. It's cold and snowy and icy here. We don't have much of a yard either, so off we go to the mall.

Also, on an unrelated note, the little guy is starting to get braver about his eating. I'm so relieved. He'll eat more of what we're eating now and is less picky as long as I give him some choices on his plate, he usually wants ate least one thing there. I was getting SO FRUSTRATED! It was so hard to feed him there for a while. Very picky guy. Yesterday I made him a banana smoothie and he drank a LOT OF IT! wow. And we took him out to eat with us last night... he ate some of my pasta and some of daddy's potato and filled his tummy right up! He even ate some broccoli "trees" on Christmas Day! Merry Christmas to Mommy!

My mom drove us a little nuts the first day. She has this issue with food (from growing up in the depression, I'm sure) and she ALWAYS brings a ton of food to our house, even though I am perfectly capable of feeding us all very well. It kind of bugs me. She even was late getting to our house because she decided to stop at the grocery store and get stuff for Christmas even meal - even though that was my gig. So I told her "Mom, I got it handled, you didn't have to do that." She says "Oh, I know, I just thought what if it snows more and we can't get to the grocery store and we have nothing to eat?" I was really ticked off at first but I found compassion the next day, because it's not like she is going to do anything about this now. We've discussed it before, to no avail... so ::sigh:: I am trying to let her be her, and be me, and find a way to not let that kind of stuff color our times together too much.

Also, she's had a few strokes in the last few years so all of these things that used to be a little weird have gotten WAY weirder. And she talks CONSTANTLY now. There is no break. No silence is oK with her. She'll even say she's uncomfortable with silence. And that is not who or how she used to be. It is exhausting for us, because we're very much not like that!! My husband and I have gotten a system down where we "take turns". One of us sort of wanders off for a "break" while the other listens, and vice versa later... and so on. I feel like I've lost my mom - the friend I used to have in her. She's very inward focused now. I've talked to her about some of this stuff, but she doesn't get it or whatever, and again... I'm learning to let her be her and me be me....

Do I sound like a broken record?! :o)

Pissed Off Rant

For a few days or weeks. I'd like to know how it would feel to use MY Personality and my Filters Background as a free get out of jail pass.

A great big Shield that lets me whine to everyone else: Don't treat me with anything less that extreme care because I have a BACKGROUND and a PERSONALITY that MAKES me this way.

I'm tired of walking on eggshells today. Can you tell?

Listen here, you: You want to use your Filters and your Personality and your Background for protection? Well I'll give you a Background that will blow yours right out of the water. And a Personality that is so ripe for neurosis you will wonder how I haven't killed myself yet. And I'll show you some Filters that will curl your toes.

Here's the thing: Filters can be counteracted with new filters. Here's my biggest one: I will not - absolutely WILL NOT listen to my own bullshit!
Personalities can become our assets. They come complete with GOOD and bad. I work on the good stuff and try to find healthy ways to live with the bad. And it sucks for me sometimes to be me. But I can learn my way around the suckiness and NOT ASK OTHERS TO BOW DOWN TO my PERSONALITY!
Backgrounds can be re framed, or at the very least NOT USED AS AN EXCUSE to walk around completely victimized day after day after day. Especially when people genuinely care about you and are not out to get you.

And YET.... I am trying to learn how to let people be who they are. Be Who They Are. Human, Ordinary and wonderful, Holy Children of God. And, I should add, that I'm learning how to let ME be who I am. Whoever the hell that is....

God help me.

Adult Conversation

Today I have my class at the Dominican Center.... that means 6 hours of class, but 1 hour of having lunch with adults where I don't have to cut anyone's food or help anyone drink their milk.

And after, we're going to coffee! At the grungiest coffeehouse in town.

Well, maybe not the grungiest.... but close.

There we will have MORE adult conversation and I will not have to share my whipped cream with anyone!!

Thanksgiving Weekend Updated

My weekend included:

A visit to Urgent Care
Food Poisoning (Burger King)
1 Amazing Hotel Room
1 Not So Amazing Hotel Room
Toddler Travelling Well
Toddler Making His Parents and Grandma Laugh Hysterically
Toddler Keeping Parents Awake at Night
Toddler Being So Stinkin Cute During the Day
Dinner OUT - without Toddler
Lunch OUT - without Toddler
Sushi
Turkey
Pumpkin Pie
Beowulf in 3D
Hoobity
Lots of Coffee
Lots of Christmas Loot from Grandma (we celebrated Cmas early)
A visit to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe
Smooth Travelling through the City of Chicago
New Slippers

Misc.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The turkey is in the oven, the dressing is too, and the potatoes are cooked. Mother In Law will do the rest now. I am taking a break.

Guess who got food poisoning on the way over here? Can you believe it!? What a load of crap. Literally. Actually I think I got it at burger King, and It's not as bad as it could have been. I'm thankful for that. Thank GOD for having only "minor" food poisoning? Whatever....I'm gonna be fine.

Our little boy did the trip over like a trooper. He rocks so much. I can't stand it sometimes. We had the best EVER hotel room. Accidentally I booked a hotel I thought we'd stayed at before, turned out it was the same chain only a step up that is usually lots of $$. But since it was thanksgiving they cut their rates. We had a HUGE room - the nicest one since we stayed at the Amway for our honeymoon. Very nice blessing.

Husband has been taking over with childcare and helping out soo much while I've been under the weather last night and today. It's been great.

The Packers won - we're in Wisconsin and I usually don't care about such things but when we come back here, the Mister turns back into a rabid Packer fan. That's OK.... He deserves it.

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday weekend with family and/or friends. Friends can be family too. Or dogs or cats. However you spend it, I hope it's full of blessings.

Roller Coaster

I dont' think I mentioned yet that my husband is losing his job soon. We're not especially sure when. It seems the middle of next month.
See, the guys who bought the company he's worked for don't really know how to run a company. So they ran a company that wasn't doing all that well but had promise into the ground in short fashion. When you have people owning a company and don't know how to run it, but won't ask the people who might be able to help them run it any questions, then you have disaster on your hands.
Have you ever worked for people like this? I have. And my husband now has too.
So anyway, my husband is a unique and wonderful human being with unique and wonderful ways of coping with this sort of stress. He also has unique and not so wonderful ways of coping that frankly wear me out.
Lucky for us this is not 3.5 years ago when we first got married - I had no patience then for his flailing. Now, I can at least listen and keep my mouth shut. But dang, that wears me out! It's a lot of work keeping my trap shut mostly and responding ever so carefully if I do respond. He verbalizes a great deal of his processing, which what woman wouldn't love, right? But alas, I don't always have patience for hearing him one day telling me how the world is ending and we'll be on the street in a month and the next day telling me about his epiphany of how God is going to take care of us. Then the next day of woe and doom and gloom and then yet another epiphany of how God is going to take care of us.... etc. Roller Coaster.
I also must say that he's doing better than he has in the past with big stuff. He's a very mature wonderful man. And he's also getting on my nerves today. So I, rather than run my mouth at him, chose to tell him to please take the day - or at least part of it to work on job search stuff. So that later he can engage with our family like a real person and take a break from it. A break for all of us. "Promise me you'll then take the evening off and not talk about it whatsoever."
So far so good.
This is going to be a long ride, and I never like the roller coaster of his dealing with this sort of thing. But it's going to teach us a lot. And in the end, it will be OK.
It really really will.

My New Helmet

Tonight Husband and Little Boy and I are going to A Gruesome and Ghastly Soiree for Freaks, Geeks and Monsters!

We were told that there were whispers of spookiness & tidings from the supernatural at our friends' house. If we dare to witness the haunting or tremble at potential alien abductions we must go. We also are to bring an offering to appease the dead - a tasty rotten treat or vile potion. Also we are required to have a disguise against the ghouls or at least a fashionable alien repulsion device!

If we did not RSVP we would have been doomed to dwell the fiery pits of hell without cable!

The event is sponsored by the Putrid Piccolos & Fiendish Friends League from Heck.

Now, doesn't that sound like fun!? How could we turn down an invitation like that?

Here's my fashionable Alien Repulsion Device:

It's my personal ionic field deflector helmet*, and I know it's going to protect me! Or at least get me into the party. Little Boy is going as Elmo and Husband is going as Afro Geek with Rectangular Ugly Glasses.

*also known as a colander covered in aluminum foil

Too Many Parentheses! (for real)

Tonight we're having a Roll Your Own dinner. Roll your own Sushi, that is. I love making that joke. Maybe it's getting old...

And the Little Boy was happy to entertain himself a lot this morning with only a little help from Mama now and then, so I have almost all the slicing and prep work done! YEE HAW!

Thursday nights here are great. It's often Sushi night. Our good friend (who introduced my husband and I and who's been my friend for 10 years) comes over and we eat sushi until we nearly pop and then we watch 30 Rock and the Office while drinking decaf coffee brewed so strong it almost needs to be chewed. Sometimes there's dessert in the mix, but not always. If she doesn't come here, then she and I go out and have sushi somewhere (Downtown is our fave) and Daddy watches the boy so the Girls can catch up. Then we come home to her house or ours and watch 30 Rock and The Office. And laugh our heads off.

I gave the Little Boy a haircut the other day. He looks so stinkin' cute I can't stand it! If I do say so myself I think I did a pretty good job. I did it while he was watching Teletubbies, and keeping the scissors out of his line of sight. It took about 30 minutes... and a lot of patience, but we're good on the haircut for now.

Speaking of Quinoa, (which we weren't) have you tried it? You gotta. If you want, ask me for the recipe, there's a great salad a friend invented, and I'm serving it along with the sushi tonight. Martha highlighted it on her show the other day (yes, I'm a closet Martha Stewart fan) and she says it has 8 amino acids! Who needs fish, when one can munch their way to perfect health (or maybe not) on quinoa! (Pronounced Keen-wa)

The above picture is one of the mini salads I made for tonight.... SO CUTE, don't you think? (tomatoes on the side, since Husband hates them and the rest of us love them!)

Baby Orajel, Buzz Saw Lady and The Oracle All Walked Into a Bar.....

Baby Orajel: No wonder the kid loves it. I have a sore gum in the back of my mouth. I dabbed a little bit of that stuff back there and WOW the pain is gone, faster than you can say BABY ORAJEL ROCKS!

And Buzz Saw Lady called me. Therefore, I cannot call her Buzz Saw Lady anymore. Lo and behold, I stopped going to the fundamentalist bible study and she called to see what happened to me. I told her It just wasn't a good fit. She asked if my kid liked the nursery. I said that he loved it. She said she felt she might have offended me. I told her it wasn't so much that I was personally offended or hurt but that it didn't feel OK for me to have a different opinion. She immediately began telling me how they had atheists and Buddhists and other religions in there before. (I did not meet any of these people. I doubt they still attend.) Anyway, It was very nice of her to call.... I was surprised, honestly. And I felt I should give her credit here, since I told you about that experience.

I talked to The Oracle (what I call my Spiritual Director) about this, and lamented about how I felt I ought to be able to be with Fundamentalists and be OK about it. Since I was one not all that long ago. She said "Well, I still can't." That made me feel much better.

So there's an invitation to myself. I now invite myself to become the kind of person who can someday do that, even if I never choose too.

See, the concept of Invitation is something I learned from a sister who teaches a class I took. She speaks often of invitation. For example instead of saying "I should be cool around any folks no matter what they are like. Because I should be centered or integrated enough that I don't need to be around people like myself in order to feel comfortable." I can INVITE myself to become the kind of person who can be around a diverse group of people and not feel angry or disrupted in any way.

Isn't that so much nicer? To take it even further: What if we had a God (and I think we do) who didn't tell us we SHOULD do this or that, or a Bible that told us we SHOULD do this or that, or a Pastor who did likewise, maybe we can think of God inviting us. The invitations in the Bible are many.... a Pastor or a friend who invites us to become a better human being, now that's more hospitable, isn't it?

Brennan Manning told a story at a conference I attended once that there was a woman he knew who had a plaque in her house that said "I will not SHOULD on myself today." He said it three times, and it took the first two before I realized he was NOT saying she had a plaque in her house that said "I will not SHIT on myself today."

Well, maybe it's the same thing....

Downer Post

Man. I'm trying to have a good today. I keep flying back and forth between feeling angry and like crying. Maybe it's the humidity - or the getting up at 4:30 with little guy.
Or maybe it's Aunt Flo or - whatever, I don't know what. I had no PMS this month really so maybe it's a delayed PMS.

I feel depressed today, and I don't say that very often. Seriously, I almost NEVER say that. Little guy didn't want to eat anything I put in front of him for breakfast. And cried a lot this morning, which is not like him. I ended up in tears. I don't know what he wants sometimes. Turned out he had a tremendously wet diaper - which I never thought to check, don't ask me why! So today we're working on pointing to the crotchal area to let me know when he wants his diaper changed so we don't have to go through this!! COMMUNICATION!!!!
He knows the signs for some things and absolutely refuses to use them except when it doesn't matter. I'm frustrated. And I don't really need anyone to explain this to me or suggest anything or give me a pep talk I just need to get it off my chest!

So we went for a walk. And got groceries. Hopefully stuff he will eat. He was a happy guy the whole way. Now he's watching Sesame Street so I can just take a break.

On a positive note, I have Sushi Thursday to look forward to........

Is Satan Blonde?

So I decided to give the bible study a second chance. The boy had so much fun in the nursery I wanted to let him have that again and I thought I should maybe grow up and just be cool with being around fundamentalists.
I am fine around fundamentalists as long as we don't discuss too much. Buzz Saw lady was there again, sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME! I swear, I was really really really super tame, OK? But good old Psalms came up again and she said that the book of Psalms was a prophetic book. I couldn't help myself, and I said that while I think the writers of the psalms happened to get a few things right, they weren't prophets in the sense that Elijah or Daniel were or those guys...
Somehow this was threatening to her view of the bible so she spouts off "ALL SCRIPTURE IS GOD BREATHED! GOD TOLD DAVID WHAT TO WRITE!!!"
I just said "OK."
I wanted to run from there screaming, but I did not. Alas, I should have. Because after the "study" she cornered me and said "I looked that verse up and it's in the .....(a jewish prophetic book? something like that)...... so it IS prophetic!"
I told her I didn't mean to imply that God didn't inspire the writers of the bible, or that none of the Psalms were prophetic in retrospect but that they aren't written by prophets. David, when he wrote that particular Psalm didn't know he was prophesying.
I really tried to be polite and she would just not let it go so I said "It's OK... we don't have to figure this out or decide who's right. I'd like to drop it if you don't mind."
"We have to be right as christians, we do."
I said "Maybe you do. I don't. Have a nice week."
And I left.

My boy had a GREAT time again in the nursery. Buzz Saw showed up in the nursery later when I was on my way out the door and asked how my kid got such blonde hair.
I desperately wanted to tell her that he got it from SATAN, but I decided not to.

What's For Dinner?

Fried Rice, that's what's for dinner!
Everything is sliced and diced and ready to go. I love that feeling. We went away this weekend and I had no time to take care of the mess of a kitchen BEFORE we went, which is my usual pattern. I hate coming home to a kitchen full of mess and clutter right in my face! But this time I said Skrew it. (Yes, I said skrew it with a K!) And left it. And you know, I was OK with it.

We got home and were drained. Because we were at my mom's. That can be very very draining. She'd die if she knew. But she is these days totally draining. The older she gets, the more inward she turns and the more she talks and the more she repeats herself, as though I were never there for some of the stories. She'll tell me about the old barn and the ash tree and how there was a garden here and there and how my dad did this or that and I say "Mom, I was there, remember!? I'm the one who drove the truck that pulled that tree down. I drove the truck that pulled the barn down too, because Dad knew how much I love demolition!" And she just ignores me and goes on and on.... over and over. I'm honestly having a very hard time with this. I'm beginning to think this might be the onset of dementia? Or else she's just getting very self focused in her old age and doesn't care? I don't know. I've talked to her about it a couple of times and her response is "Oh, I just say whatever is in my head, I don't think about it first." So... obviously, she isn't concerned about it.

She started doing this before her stroke, and now it's 5 times worse.

I want to get to a place that it doesn't bother me... I don't know how to do that but I'm trying. I know that some of this is normal... I'm familiar with the process of aging, and have been through it with others.... my mom is doing something beyond anything I've ever experienced before.

Anyway, so we were drained. From the barrage of words and the stories and the micro managing she does of me when I'm working in her kitchen, etc.... No cleaning up of my OWN kitchen happened last night. We put the boy to bed after letting him re-acquaint himself with his toys and watch a little of the 101 Dalmations movie that was on TV. Then we watched stupid TV and stuffed our faces with comfort junk food and then collapsed into bed.

But today - today! The boy was entertaining himself just fine, and happy about it, so I got the kitchen cleaned up while we listened to Putamayo World Playground for Kids... which he loves. He toddled in to say howdy now and then.... see what I was up to. And I got it all done. Then he took a long long nap and I got dinner all ready except for the cooking. And it is all good.

I didn't obsess about the kitchen for a change. I just relaxed, and did it when I had time. And the time was there without me even stressing about it...

How about THAT!?

Robbing a Bank Full of Nuns

I love this song:

Barenaked Ladies - Bank Job lyrics

It was an upset in two minutes flat
We were back on the freeway, foot to the mat
I can't understand it; we had it down pat
It's very upsetting, could we leave it at that?
We all had positions; we each had a role
We'd over-rehearsed it; we had full control
They can't teach you acting, it's there in your soul
It's the same with a bank job, and each thing we stole

So I don't need attitude
Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
Wait by the phone

I was the driver; you ran the show
You had the last word, the go or no go
I knew every laneway in Ontario
But it's not what you're sure of, it's what you don't know
It should have been filled with the usual ones
Throwing their cash into mutual funds
We all had our ski masks and sawed-off shotguns
But how do you plan for a bank full of nuns?
Well, I guess we panicked - we all have taboos
And they were like zebras; they had us confused
We should be in condos with oceanfront views
Instead we're most-wanted on the six o'clock news

So I don't need attitude
Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
And wait by the phone

Inside the police car you tried to explain
Your crisis of conscience; the voice in your brain
And now that the whole thing has gone down the drain
I think we all know who should shoulder the blame
Cause you made a choice there, almost sublime
I'm all for compassion, just not on my dime
You looked like an amateur, and that's the real crime
So I'll take a walk now, and you do the time

And I don't need attitude
Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
There's no need to phone
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone......

Meat Loaf

I just made THE WORST! Meatloaf I have ever made in my entire life!

I'm so proud!

Binary Angels

I just went to a bible study. GASP!! A BIBLE STUDY!!
Yikes, I know.

But they have childcare free and it's a chance to socialize the little one and a chance to maybe meet other women my age in the same stage of life.

Or maybe not.

And also, I forgot what it was like to interpret the bible all literally. Like, a lady said "Well, David said such and such in the Psalms. So it must be like that." I'm like, "Well, He might have gotten that one little thing wrong...." She said "Well I don't think there are any untruths in the bible." I forgot that word UN Truth.... as in, there is no in between. There is only black and white things are either or, not both/and. I forgot about all that.
And you know what it was about? Whether we're higher than the angels or not. Biblically.

Um..... who cares?
I kept repeating to myself "Beginner's Mind, Beginner's Mind...... You too can learn something, Grasshopper!"

Anyway.... our little guy had a GREAT TIME and is now sleeping hard. This is good!

Break Me Off a Piece of That Organic Chicken

I just ate a Kit Kat bar.
When is the last time I had a Kit Kat bar?
I don't even remember!

I just got done shopping in the Cute Little Uppity Part of Town. I HATE that part of town, but it's the best grocery store close by. I usually shop about a block away and walk. But today I wanted to have CHOICES! I wanted to buy ORGANIC CHICKEN that had roamed the farm instead of boxed up all its life. And I wanted to make a lovely salad at the salad bar with quality lettuce and not have to buy all the ingredients and come home and make one and then have all the extra ingredients sit in the fridge until I forget about them! And it was all very lovely. We are now stocked for the week and it's all good.

Oh, and they have grocery carry out. I LOVE THAT part!

Considering a Tattoo?

If your kid wants to get a tattoo, send him or her on over HERE to think it over first!

HAHA

Politeness

Yesterday at The Coffee Shop, there was this guy in there who clearly is cognitively impaired in some way. Talking to a guy from Africa and his friends about how in 200 years all the black people living in the U.S. will turn white. "It's all about vitamin D absorption, you see?" And on and on he went.
Finally I heard the polite man from Africa say "Sir, I do not like what it is you are saying to me right now and I would like you to go away."
And he did.
Afterwards the man from Africa says to me: "He's not right in the head. He used to be a dentist but he has told me before there is something wrong in his brain now. He doesn't mean to be like that. I just didn't like it anyway."
Later I heard the same rambling guy talking about his 300 mile hike on the Appalachian trail. Some poor "polite" person who didn't know the line "Sir, I do not like what it is you are saying to me right now and I would like you to go away." sat there and listened for a very long time.
I felt sorry for both of them.

Popcorn Story

I can't figure people out. Heck, I can't even figure myself out. There's this thing I keep thinking about, because I'm still trying to lose the baby fat... Today I got into some pre preggo jeans, and that was helpful! Go me.

You should know I never diet. I refuse. I also do not own a scales. (any scales?) My jeans tell me when I need to get it under control, I don't need that fascist number called WEIGHT going up and down to make or ruin my days.

I did once read Gwen Shamblin's Weigh Down book. There was a lot of common sense information in there that I grooved on and still do. There's some stuff in there I don't dig anymore, and additionally I do not in any way wish to allign myself with her particular cult sect... however, there are some ideas discussed in the book that were and continue to be very helpful to me.


One of which is this: Eat when you're hungry. Stop when you're full. Don't eat when you're not hungry. Duh, Right? It's simple, but not easy. However, I think that to be better advice than all the diets in the world combined.


Also, the whole Clean up your plate thing? I now call bullshit on the cleaning up of our plates that our mothers made us do. No more of that. The children may be starving over in wherever but we cannot ship our food over there so we do not need to EAT IT! It's wasted if I eat it anyway, once I'm full. I can waste it by forcing it down my gullet and turning it to fat or I can "waste" it by throwing it away.


And also, Eat your favorite thing first . Instead of saving the best for last, eat the best first. So I've learned to dissect my food. I enjoy it until I feel myself getting full then I start picking out my faves. It looks terrible, but it helps a lot.

I must say I am still working at these things and don't do well all the time but I believe they have kept me mostly off the genetic path most of my family follows. Bless them, bless them, but they are BIG and unhealthy and dying off..... sad to say but true. Like any diet, it all flies out the window without discipline and willpower... or whatever it takes to stick to a set of "rules".... but mostly it's kept me sane and that's important too.


With all that rambling in mind I will tell you a short story. A friend of mine once sat down between a friend of mine and I who were sharing a bowl of popcorn and watching a movie. She picked out all the buttery yummy kernels and then announced "I'm full." Leaving my friend and I to pass the plain boring popcorn that was left back and forth over top of her or else change seats.


I thought two things:

"How rude!"

and

"How cool - no wonder she's way skinnier than me!"

Dilemma

A couple of years ago, our doctor began being very friendly with us. We just thought she was being nice. She loaned me some of her own books when I was pregnant, and told us where she lived. We live in the same neighborhood and we're the same ages and we like talking about all kinds of things. My husband and I began running into her occasionally here and there like out walking the neighborhood or the farmers market or the coffee shop or the grocery store. She has also loaned us some of her magazines and we loaned her a couple of ours. It seemed like she was being more friendly than one normally would with a patient but we also thought maybe she's just like that.

Last week I ran into her at the coffee shop that I often go to. She was sitting with a group of women, one of whom is a friend of mine. They invited me to join them so I did. It was a little awkward but hey whatever. We had fun! That evening we took our son in for his Well Child Checkup and she said how great it was to see me at the coffee shop and told me all about the group and invited me to join them every Wednesday morning. I'm thinking to myself: This is the woman who gives me my yearly pelvic exam and breast exam - stuff like that! Can I sit and have coffee with her? Aren't we supposed to keep some sort of professional distance?

But I like her a lot and have over the years found myself curious about her - wanting to ask her questions about herself and don't because - well, she's my doctor!! Whenever we run into each other we always find lots to talk about and she is very interesting to me. I don't think she gets my sense of humor, but I think she thinks I'm interesting too.

So my dilemma is this: Maybe she's just being nice. Maybe she's just really super casual. Therefore, maybe I should not take it seriously and just smile and say thank you and just let it go?

Maybe I should find someone else to do my yearly exams?

Maybe I think too much!?

What do YOU think?

So Domestic!

Highlights of the day so far:

1. Eating Chicken and Stars Soup with my son.
2. Walking in the only 60 degree outdoors! And seeing friends along the way! And only sweating a little bit!
3. Already having dinner very nearly ready to put in the oven at the appropriate time so that we can eat soon after Husband comes home.
4. Son sleeping soundly immediately after being put down for a nap - No whining, no crying no drama, just sleepy cuddly snuggly boy closing his eyes and surrendering to sleep! Ahhh!
5. Having this time to sit and blog a little bit.

First Post

Dang, this was hard! I've been mulling over a name for this blog for a few months now on and off, and nothing came. Today I gave myself a deadline and well, this was what I came up with.

Sincere Fizz....
I'm sincere, and I'm not asking anyone to find a lot of depth here. Unless of course, you want to.

I had another blog and in my own geeky excitement, told too many people about it. Then I couldn't post about so much of my life, it felt restricting. Couldn't post about work, or family or in-laws or friends. I tend to process when I write, and I tend to write in a stream of conscience style. I need the freedom to be able to say anything I want to here.
That's what I intend to do.

So, if you happen to figure out what my old blog was, or who I am, then please don't out me.

Thanks for dropping by....